Blogs are supposed to be a good way to vent your feelings :D to document your thoughts and progress as you set goals to achieve.  I am going to attempt that again for the two millionth time :D It's never easy to be consistent, but that doesn't mean I will stop trying :) The goal I am setting is to lose weight.  I would like to lose 239 pounds by May 7, 2015.

Every day I strive to be happy.  I know for the most part I am happy.  I am happy to be alive.  Happy to have a home to live in with people I love.  I am thankful for everything that has happened in my life that helps me and has helped me to grow and develop into the person I am, and the person I am meant to be.  We are all works in progress.  Each of us at varying stages in the journey of life and each of us are responsible for our own individual selves and for our individual growth and development.

For as long as I can remember I have always been a heavy person.  When I was younger I always thought I was heavier and fatter then I really was and now that I am older I am definitely as fat or fatter then I imagined throughout my life and I have always struggled with my attempts to lose weight.

I know my weight issues stem from emotional trauma I experienced while growing up and I continue to work on addressing these issues in my own private way but honestly this blog is not about my personal drama, where it all comes from, and how I deal with it.  This blog is about my journey to lose weight and what I am doing to make it happen for myself in the now.

On Wednesday May 7, 2014 I weighed in at 409 pounds.  That day I started an all protein diet.  I'm not a numbers person and counting calories does not work with me.  I'm not actually following a specific diet plan but I have cut out bread, rice, potatoes, and pasta.  I have also cut out sugar and tried my best to stick with water but last Saturday May 10 I had to have a diet soda so I did :D  So I will drink diet sodas as I do this diet.  I weighed in this morning at 384.6 pounds, 24.4 pounds lighter then last Wednesday :D

I honestly do not know how I lost so much weight so fast.  Probably a lot of water, but also I am not eating as much as I used to and I am sticking to protein so I am glad its working.  I also want to note that I got a lot of rest as well and I am currently on high blood, high cholesterol, and diabetes medication.  I am told the medication for diabetes will give me the runs and it has.

What I do know is this.... It is never too late to start making and maintaining positive changes in my life.  I want to say that I will do this for 100 days consecutively but I am so afraid of failure.  I am always doing stuff like that, starting off strong and fizzling out.  What I will commit to is 30 days :D and if I feel I can go on I will recommit to another 30 days :D

I am committing to this protein diet from May 7, 2014 - June 7, 2014.

Slowly but surely I will introduce vegetables and fruits into my diet.

I am thinking at the end of every 30 days I will have a cheat day :D just one :D we'll see how that works out.

Morning/Mid-day meal:

Today I had about 1 1/2 cups of kim chee with 1/2 a whole rotiserrie chicken and 4 12 oz cans of diet root beer.  That was brunch :D

Dinner:

1 cup of kim chee 1 large bowl of beef soup 2 12 oz cans of diet root beer